After supporting the idea of building a wall along the Canadian border, Wisconsin Governor Scott Kevin Walker walked into a Madison courtroom today and filed a petition to legally change his name to Brandon the Builder, the mythical character in the Game of Thrones saga who built the towering ice Wall that protects the Seven Kingdoms from the Wildlings of the North, and worse.
Walker supporters raised concerns about the timing of his dramatic decision, claiming that the move will hurt his name recognition in the critical run up to primaries, but several Republican operatives called it a brilliant move.
Said one Republican strategist: “Immigration has put Donald Trump at the head of the GOP pack. Walker’s move will redefine his candidacy with the hot-button issue. Trump says he’ll build a wall, but Walker is saying he’ll build the Wall, and we all know that bigger means better for meat-and-potato Americans.”
When pressed about the reasonableness of drawing inspiration from fantasy novels for real-life policies, a Builder-née-Walker campaign spokesman brushed aside any criticism: “Game of Thrones may be fantasy, but it’s not fantastical to use giants like the Brandon of the books did. Giants are real, of course, but they aren’t necessary for this project because we’ve got everything we need right here in this country. To build a 700 foot high ice wall that stretches the 1,500 mile length of the U.S. – Canada border we’ll do what all savvy Americans do: hire Mexican laborers.”
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