Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Michael Pena and Kate Mara land on Mars. Matt Damon goes on a spacewalk during a storm and gets lost. The rest of the crew, believing him dead, abandon him. Only Damon’s not dead — he’s undead — and now must survive the solitary confinement chamber of his own planet.

Damon is initially upset that the crew left him behind. A call? A text? Is that too much to ask? But there is no time to squander on purposeless emotion, because Damon must find food, water and shelter in order to survive. Damon proves remarkable resourceful with limited materials, a true Martian MacGyver. The only thing he can’t grow or manufacture is a hand to hold, which he realizes he needs more than ever.

After two years, the crew returns to save Damon and finds him as radically self-reliant as a Burning Man participant. He no longer yearns for a hand to hold. And now, as if a space-member of the ‘The Clash,’ Damon has a decision to make: Should he stay or should he go?

Though we haven’t actually seen the film, we predict Damon will return to Earth and subsequently realize how much he’s changed. Earthbound life will be tiresome and dull; he won’t much like people anymore. Because a couple years on Mars will do that to a person.

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