Having long denied that climate change was actually occurring, Paddy the Polar Bear finally grunted his assent that it was happening.
Unswayed by the diminishing pack ice in his Arctic habitat, Paddy claimed for more than a decade that climate change was merely an illusion perpetuated by a ‘vast left-wing seal conspiracy’ and scientifically unfounded. It was only after noticing that the seals themselves were suffering that Paddy recently came around.
“What do you want me to say?” Paddy said. “We’re the top predator out here, and I liked it that way. I’m thinking about moving to Alaska now, but I just don’t know. I hear the U.S. is already quite polarized.”
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