With the elections getting prohibitively expensive, aspiring congressmen are now signing Indentured Servant contracts with their campaign contributors. Widely employed in the 18th century when the poor of Europe would sign a contract to work off their passage to America for a number of years before becoming free, the country has returned to these glory days of yore at the U.S. Congress.

According to the terms of the contract, in exchange for a contribution, representatives agree to vote exactly as their sponsor demands for given number of years. Contracts for prospective Senators usually run for five years and 364 days, leaving them one day as a free, unencumbered legislators, while House of Representative contracts run for the full two years that they serve.

“It works for me,” said a Senator from Louisiana, who chose to remain unnamed. “I vote as my sponsor pleases for almost all of my term, and then I get one day to vote for the good of the people who elected me. Believe me, that one day can be busy… though it’s usually spent signing another Indentured Servant contract for the next term.”

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