Some of you may know Morrissey. He had a string of hits in the 1980s with The Smiths (‘This Charming Man’, ‘Girlfriend in a Coma’, etc.) and later as a solo artist (‘Interesting Drug’, ‘We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful’, etc.). What you may not know is that he wrote a novel, List of the Lost. And a scene in that novel won the 2015 Literary Review’s Bad Sex in Fiction Award. Accordingly, we present that winning scene (one sentence) for your enlightenment:

“At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.”

Girlfriend in a Coma… we hope.

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